Willpower, grit, determination! That is what most people think are the keys to self-improvement. After all, how can you make progress unless you are continually striving to be better? Of course, the reality of being successful at improving yourself can be quite different. In fact, as you will discover in the secrets divulged below, sometimes an alternative approach to hard shouldering your way through is needed…

Slow down 

First of all, trying to rush the significant habit changes needed to effect self-improvement is a fool’s errand. In fact, you will have much more success by slowing things down and setting yourself realistic targets to meet along the way. 

Additionally, being slower and more mindful from moment to moment can help a great deal as well. Even though our instinct is often to rush through activities that we do not find enjoyable, such as exercise, study, or cleaning. 

In fact, by being mindful, we can start to notice patterns of behavior and thought that are automatic or compulsive reactions to something else. A process that then strengthens our ability to resist, change, and make better choices as we move forward. Something that can really help to facilitate lasting change in the self-improvement department. 

Get some help 

Next, when it comes to improving the self, by yourself isn’t always the best way. This is because sometimes we will need the assistance of others to provide structure, support, and guidance. Especially if it is a particularly entrenched habit, we are trying to break. 

The good news here is that there is plenty of help available for those that need it. In fact, you can find charities and organizations dedicated to helping people make improvements in their lives. There is also a myriad of techniques available to help with self-improvement. One, in particular, being dialectical behavioral therapy, which is designed to teach those that engage in it, how better to regulate their emotions. Something that can be particularly valuable if the improvement you are trying to make is to kick a harmful habit, such as addiction. 

Be compassionate 

There is a great deal of focus in life on being kind and compassionate to others. However, few of us have mastered this skill when it comes to ourselves. In fact, many of us listen to self-talk on a daily basis, that, if it were to come from anyone else, would cause us to cut them from our life permanently. 

Sadly, we cannot cut off our own negative inner voice, but we can learn to ‘change the radio station’ and be more compassionate instead. A skill that can be very one that is valuable in self-improvement because it removes potential triggers that lead to damaging behaviors. 

Allow for failure 

Finally, a secret I bet no one has ever told you is that when you want to succeed in self-improvement, you need to allow for failure. Yes, that’s right, even though what you want most in the world is to succeed, you need to allow yourself to fail as well. 

The reason for this is that if we make it OK not to succeed we will have much more stamina over the long term. Not giving up as soon as we haven’t had a perfect day. Something that can be very valuable in needed if its long term self-improvement success that you are ultimately after.